new norms

i've been thinking a lot lately about:

  • how often i silently forgive others for being inconsiderate or thoughtless or abrasive because i know it's not their intention

  • whether i should care that people seem to expect a low level of competency from me by default and whether i should do anything about it

  • how i now flinch when i hear the words 'passionate' and 'ambition' and 'impact'

wouldn't it be lovely if we...

  • answered 'what do you do?' with what we love to do instead of what we do to pay the bills?

  • complimented girls by praising their character instead of their looks or their obedience?

  • asked each other 'how are you?' and meant it?

  • were (system 1) impressed by those who are kind and generous instead of those with power and status?

  • defined the success of a relationship by what we learned and how we grew from it rather than whether it ended?

  • humanized those who are different from us by default instead of only when we're called out on it?

  • stopped perpetuating the notion of finding our other halves / finding someone who completes us? (thank you, alanis morissette, for inspiring eleven-year-old me with the lyric: i don't wanna be your other half; i believe that one and one make two.)

  • put as much effort into nurturing our friendships as we do into our careers?

  • had kids because we want to populate the earth with compassionate and loving humans and not because it's a thing we're expected to do?

  • saved the world by improving our interactions with other people rather than enslaving each other to solve problems with much lower impact?