thought dump

music i'm digging right now

stuff i'm actively working on or are next in the queue

  • destroying 90% of the association i have between hugging/cuddling and closeness/safety.
  • developing better policies for time- and energy-spend.
  • identifying and processing my feelings in real time.
  • identifying and dumping defense mechanisms, beliefs, heuristics, systems, etc. that might not be serving me anymore.
  • lucid dreaming.
  • approaching life experiments more scientifically.

things i'm excited about

  • spending time with new friends!
  • tomorrow's plane ride!
  • getting into a routine!

questions i wanna answer

  • how can i invite more spontaneity into my life without sacrificing friendship quality?
  • how can i express excitement, good vibes, positivity so that people don't think i'm being sarcastic?
  • how much alone time do i need?
  • how can i notice when sandpaper's turned into a cheese grater?
  • am i a people person? what does that even mean anymore?

other thoughts

  • i've successfully incorporated super supportive, loving, interesting, intelligent people into my life. i feel extremely lucky.
  • grad school taught me many, many things outside of chemistry.
  • i have no straightforward answers.
  • i should probably start writing down whenever something or someone feels like a breath of fresh air.
  • i can't wait for the day i can permanently install a device in my body that allows me to play music/sound in my ears. for now, i guess wireless noise-cancelling earbuds will do.
  • more fresh air, please. :) :) :) :) :)